Two weeks.

Yesterday marked two weeks of our new life in Beijing. Some days are harder than others. It can be easy to feel scared and lost if you let yourself... In my opinion it's natural. I don't speak the language, I can't understand street signs, I am not familiar with the entire area and the food..... The food is a mystery. The other night we went out to dinner at a Chinese restaurant (we have mostly been trying to find foods we are missing or familiar with) but anyways, we are at the restaurant and there are no regular utensils in sight. I'm not a stranger to chopsticks but I'm used to the wooden ones. These ones were plastic and trying to pick my food up was really embarrassing! I must've looked like a buffoon with my food slipping and sliding all over my plate while trying to win the battle of the plastic chopsticks! Needless to say, I didn't end up eating much at dinner. I was having my butt handed to me by that scrawny pair of dumb dumb chopsticks. 

Putting all difficulties aside for the moment, this is one of the first times in my life I have felt almost completely dependent on myself. James works a lot and I have had to find ways to keep both myself and a toddler busy, happy and entertained in a very foreign country. Let me tell you: IT IS A BIG JOB! I have had to try to discover what it is that makes me happy and not who. Don't get me wrong, my husband and my baby of course make me a very happy woman, but I don't have many people outside of them to hang out with. So I have taken a few test drives with some old hobbies. Drawing, for example. I used to love drawing when I was younger. In fact, as a little kid I wanted to write and illustrate my own children's books. Unfortunately, that hobby somehow got put on the shelf as my selfish teenage years came in to play and I explored stupider ways to entertain myself. I'm happy to say after some doodling in my notebook I have relit the fire! I am going to buy some official supplies and look into maybe taking a few classes out here. Gotta keep busy. 

I will end with a quote:

"Sometimes your only available form of transportation is a leap of faith." Margaret Shepard

 And that is exactly the transportation I'm taking today. Zai jian!

Ketchup & Mustard

Hi there. It has been a while, hasn't it? It's hard to keep up with a blog when I can barely keep up with everything going on around me. Life has me spinning in merry-go-round circles most days while other days I feel like I'm waiting forever for D-Day: June 6th, ladies & Gents. June freaking SIXTH. That is six days from today when we will be packed up and leaving on a jet plane not knowing when we will be back again.... but seriously, who knows!? My little sister/best friend is getting married in August and I don't even know if I will be back for said wedding! Life, you are so terribly unpredictable, ain't ya? 

Anyways, on to other things. It's been 3 weeks to the night that I lost my Grandfather. Pa. Elmer Carter. The only Grandpa I ever knew. He passed away May 9th at 8 P.M. and I was so lucky to have seen him twice in his last week here with us. The last time was the day before we lost him. He looked so tired and could barely speak. A part of me thought he still had time, though. I had a moment with him while he was in the hospital. I took his frail, well-worn hand in mine and told him that it was all okay. Not to worry about Grama anymore and that we were all behind him. I told him it was okay for him to go. As hard as those words were to speak to him, I was able to find peace in the simple and exhausted "Thank you" he replied to me. I love my Pa. I know he is happier. I know he is free from his suffering and I know that in a year he will accept the temple promises we make for him. I think of him daily and am grateful for the legacy he lead in our family. I'm so proud of the man he was. I see a lot of him in my Mom!

Mei Li continues to shape me into the mommy I need to be everyday. Her personality is already shining through! Just today my friend, Natalie, was over visiting and Mei Li thought it would be funny to mimic her laugh. The girl is a ham. She's got an attitude, too, Heaven help me! But she is so sweet! She offers plenty of kisses when asked, waves bye-bye, loves to say "uh-oh", is thrilled to be tickled and does not hesitate to shake her money maker when a good song comes on! When I'm frustrated with her, her smile never wavers in turning me into a big softy; it's infectious! She can drive me crazy but I'm even crazier about her.

That's all for tonight.

Sweet dreams.